Already the little things aren’t adding up…įor many viewers, this scene is the defining moment from Exercise in Fatality
None of the police officers are wearing brown heels, but Columbo finds Gene’s shoes in his gym locker. He also spots brown shoe polish marks on the newly waxed gym floors – the sort that would be made if someone was running, then involved in a scuffle. Who would work out after eating a big meal like that? It is he that notices the spilt coffee stains on Gene’s office carpet and the large number of empty Chinese takeaway boxes on his desk. Naturally he hasn’t reckoned on the abilities of one Lieutenant Columbo, who is amongst the police detail sent to investigate early the next morning. It’s a fine performance from the nerveless Janus, who has every reason to believe he’s gotten away with murder. Within ear shot of his guests, Janus makes it clear that Gene is already in his gym gear and is planning a workout before heading home, and loudly warns him not to try anything too strenuous. “Janus hasn’t reckoned on the immense abilities of one Lieutenant Columbo.” The tape recorded message is Gene’s voice asking for Janus, so he takes the phone and stage manages a faux conversation. While he’s there he whips out his tape recorded message of Gene’s voice and uses the study phone to call his own home’s second line, which Jessica answers.
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Claiming to have been sent on a wild goose chase across town to a business meeting that never took place, Janus apologises to his guests and slips into a side room to start the movie projector. While he’s been out a-killing, lover Jessica has been entertaining his guests. Janus is staging a shindig at his luxury pad. Laying Gene on a weight bench, Janus balances a heavily-stacked barbell on Gene’s neck to make it look for all the world like death was caused by an epic gym fail. Janus then carries Gene’s lumpen corpse to the changing rooms and kits him out in gym clobber and sneakers. Janus’s approach to diplomacy is as uncompromising as his approach to business His bid to escape is short-lived, however, as Janus chases him down and chokes him to death. His attempt fails as Gene pours a pot of coffee on his assailant’s arm and takes flight through the empty building. Whipping a metal pipe out of his back pocket, Janus attempts to strangle Gene against a wall. Gene is in high spirits, believing he’s found what he needs to see Janus charged with grand larceny – and that’s when Janus springs into action. It’s after hours, and he sneaks in through a rear door to confront Gene in his office. We next encounter Janus back at the Chatsworth spa. He returns home to plant the sham tape recorded message in his study, pointedly removing a light bulb from his phone that indicates when one of its two lines is in use. And the best way to do that? Cold-blooded murder! And so coercing his hot young secretary / lover Jessica Conroy to leave the office early, Janus finds a tape recorded phone call made by Gene to his office earlier that day and gets a-splicing. He’s sufficiently spooked, however, to know he has to prevent Gene from blowing his cover. As Janus himself confides to partner-in-crime Buddy Castle: “In eight months I’ll be in my villa overlooking the Adriatic with 2 million in Swiss francs to keep me warm.” Janus has been channelling company funds out of the country and is planning to do a runner to Europe to live off his ill-gotten gains. It’s fighting talk, but Janus has both the stomach and physique for a scrap. “I can smell flim-flam right down to the paper clips you make me buy,” he sneers, before promising Janus he won’t rest until he has enough evidence to start a class action against him. Summoning Janus to a meeting, Gene tells him that his days are numbered. Milo Janus is one of the series’ most loathsome baddies
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